I finally got out of Ibadan this weekend. My host mom invited me to go with her to a funeral in Ilobu, a village in Osun State, about 100 km north east of Ibadan.
I was ecstatic at the idea of traveling to another part of Yorubaland, especially for a funeral. When an agbalagba (old person) dies, his/her children throw a huge celebration with lots of food, dance and music. A funeral for a person who lives a long life is cause for celebration here, not sadness. The burial ceremony for the late Chief Moses Ojo Anwo brought hundreds of people from all over Yorubaland to Ilobu to celebrate his “glorious exit” after 90 years of life.We were five in the car to Ilobu: my host mom in the drivers seat, the wife of my dad’s brother in the front seat, me in the back squished between my host grandmother and the wife of my dad’s other brother.
The road to Ilobu was in decent shape for the most part. You should expect to thrash from side to side on any road around here as the driver dodges pot holes. We stopped on the side of the road for 10 minutes when we noticed the temperature gauge on the car all the way up. I stood up outside the car, with my hands on the top to escape the heat inside the car and watch the heavy traffic pass around a semi-truck stuck in the mud. Wearing my traditional Yoruba dress, I attracted a lot of attention from drivers. It probably didn’t help that I was yelling “Good afternoon,” and “greetings for taking a trip” at drivers in Yoruba. A driver kept his eyes on me for so long, in complete shock at this Oyinbo woman dressed like a Yoruba and speaking Yoruba, that he lightly crashed into the car in front of him. The police man helping us tend the overheating car just laughed at this and the whole incident dissolved without a single argument or exchange of insurance information.We arrived at the church in Ilobu just in time to miss most of the service. Every pew was completely full, so without space to sit we stood outside taking pictures and scrutinizing all the different traditional outfits.

Young girls hold their markets on their heads to sell to guests looking for something sweet or refreshing.
After the service, all the guests drove a ways down the main road to a big field for the reception. Empty plastic tables and chairs arranged neatly under big tents covered the perimeter of the field and two band tents with huge speakers situated in the middle. Anwo, the man who died, had one wife with many children so different children sponsored a different band tent, conveniently located right next to each other, speakers facing the same way. The sound was horrifically loud. When we arrived drummers playing the talking drum swarmed me and started drumming the tune of “O-yin-bo” to amuse me and earn some naira.
Three of them followed me all the way to my table, until finally after a lot of drumming my ear drums had had enough and I gave one 50 Naira. He promptly left my side. The caterers served us a choice of rice, moinmoin and beef or pounded yam with stew. I chose the pounded yam as it is becoming one of my favorite foods here. After eating, the lead musician invited the celebrants (the children of the deceased) to come and dance on the dance ground where their friends started spraying them with money. I wish I had pictures of this now, but it will have to wait for a later post. Basically people drop money, mostly small bills, on your face and all over you while you dance. Meanwhile someone collects the money from the ground in a bag for you. When I hear music it’s hard for me to stand still. I started grooving in my chair a little bit when my mom told me to stand up and dance. I did and she sprayed me with 100 Naira. All eyes of the guests seated under the tent were on me again. I must say, I can dance like a Nigerian woman pretty well. I have the arm/butt coordination down pat. Before long a man from the dancing crowd approached me to bring me into the crowd. My mom and grandmother encouraged me to go so I danced into the crowd of celebrants and within no time women and men started spraying me with Naira. I must have danced for no more than 2 minutes and I came out with 2,400 Naira, about $15. A couple women even sprayed me with 500 N bills, very rare for spraying! I am kicking myself now for not dancing longer.So goes a typical funeral for a person who lived a long, fulfilled life in Yorubaland. Not one person at the event wore a black suit or a black dress. In fact, observing the clothes was one of the most incredible parts of the day for me.
Each cloth is beautiful and bright, and of course an outfit is not complete without a gele or fila on top. Women wrap stiff geles that complement their clothing perfectly and the man’s fila sits proudly on his head, dropped to one side depending on if he is married or not. Then you see the “aso ebi” or family clothing. At big parties like weddings or funerals, families-men and women-will all dress in the same cloth. It will all be sewn in different styles but it is totally coordinated and is a stunning sight to see. Dressing is such a beautiful part of the Yoruba culture, I could never be bored at a party just for examining all the different clothing styles.I am coming to love this country and culture more and more after every day that goes by, especially with every new Yoruba outfit I get back from the tailor. I may just come home with an entirely new wardrobe.
hi Titi,
was just trying to confirm something aabout the poweer fo the internet which came up in a dicussion with a friend two days ago. He claims to be able to monitor events around his family compound in their remote village in Osun state. So I tried to locate ourstreet in Ilobu and your blog on my dad’s funeral came up!
It’s often said ‘it’s a small world’; I say ‘it’s a shrinking world’. it’s unbelievable! Thanks for your love and the interesting piece. You are with the best: uncle Dele and sis Peju. My regards to them.
However, my dad had only ONE wife throughout his life. Those numerous canopy stands represented his six children, different benefactors, nephews, cozs, in-laws and his friend’s children cum associates. Dad was a one man one wife christian.
I love that piece on You Tube too. Hope this path will lead to career fulfilment. ciao
That is crazy! What a village the world really is. Your Fathers funeral was so interesting for me, as you read. Thank you for correcting me and I will make those changes immediately. So amazed by your comment. Take care.
Hello Titi,
Seeing that your host mom is Dr. Layiwola, could you be the lady sitting by her side at the Yinka Shonibare lecture in Terra Kulture, lagos, sometime last week?
Much regards.
deji
Hi again Cara abi Titilayo,
You definitely made me laugh as I enjoyed your blog on attending the funeral. You definitely had fun and I’m truly glad it’s been a thrilling experience for you despite the imperfections. That is what life is about. Without the ups and downs there can never be an appreciation, and accepting things as they are without being judgmental is definitely the way to get the best out of any situation or experience.
It reminds me of when I embark on my trips worldwide, I always have an open mind and just take each day as it comes and I’ve had some of the greatest experiences that way.
Our people are very warm and accommodating and I’m glad you have been welcome as one of our own. Oti di omo wa niyen o. You’re now an honorary Nigerian, adopted and welcome to visit any other time.
I have an aunt in the Bodija area, who actually is American but has lived in Nigeria for over 50 yrs. Although she visits the U.S. to spend time with family every now and then, Nigeria is home for her. If you’ll like to contact her and get her perspective as one who’s become a Nigerian and adopted Naija as her home, you can always email me, I’m sure she’ll be glad to share her experiences with you.
My regards to your host family and keep enjoying yourself. Olorun a tunbo ma daabo bo gbogbo yin. Ayo e a tunbo kun ni asiko tio darapo mo wa. Wa a de pada sile layo atiu lalafia.
Cheers. 🙂
Hey Titi, I enjoyed reading this blog, it brought back so many lovely memories, Im actually ibo but I grew up in UI, im actually what we call a ‘UI pikin’ cos i schooled from primary level to University inside that campus and lived inside for good measure!! in fact I lived on Sankore road about 5 minutes from where you stay right now, I do know your school mum and family pretty well too….. I’m now in the Netherlands and sometimes I wonder how ‘awon Oyibos’ would adapt to a typical African life without all the organisations here, so its great to read your blog, i guess i’m now going to be stuck on it. I guess the Layiwola’s can help you with anything you need so I don’t really need to offer any help but if you feel you want something different just mail me. I still have lots of friends there. I also have a good friend from the US who stayed in UI for a year in case you want to ask something from her id get both of you in touch with each other.
Gosh your blog just makes me smile, and your description of the culture is spot on. I’m sure you have quite a lot of issues with certain things but I love the way you put the problems and the good things side by side without being judgmental.
Take good care of yourself.
Ginika Ibeagha
Hello Titi, this writeup is so great! I was laughing so loud that I hope I didnt upset the guy living in the next room to mine! You are so observant of the culture and your surroundings! Keep it up!
Hi Titi,
really interesting blog. and your experience with the yoruba culture is really inspiring. do keep it up.
when do we get to see the video of you dancing at the funeral 🙂
Hi! My name is Onikepe Oluwadamilola Owolabi……..Since you’ve been in IB as we call Ibadan for a while, you might know the short form of my name is Dami.
Your blog is really cool. I’m Nigerian, from Ekiti state also in western Yoruba speaking Nigeria, and I went to school in Osun State. I’m presently in India working for while- also doing a blog, and it was delightful to see home which i miss through your eyes. its always refreshing seeing the quirks of my country- like the light switches, the Indomie- the everyday things through fresh eyes. I haven’t smiled so much in a week. Oh and I miss dodo too. I hope you are having a great time despite the occasional electricity disruptions and roads and everything else, and thank you for reminding me of home so vividly. If you need something fun to do apart from whatever you have now, let me know- you’re in my side of town, i’ll tell a friend to check up on you.
My question? why Yoruba? What piqued your interest and what happens after your cultural immersion?
Wow Dami, this post made my day. It fills me with so much joy to know I am bringing a smile to your face with my posts and experiences. That is the point of my blog, to bring people along this journey with me. I’m sure you do miss the sweetness of dodo and the charm of Nigeria. I hope India is treating you well. If I make it to Ekiti state I will absolutely get in touch with you. I will keep on posting things that I hope make you reminisce about your home country. Check the About me page of my blog to see the answer to your question. E se gan!
Titi
So fun! Great post! You rock…proud of you beyond words.
Hugs
333
My experience in Ilobu was so profound. It inspired me and left me in greater awe of the richness of the Yoruba culture. On the road back to Ibadan I was overwhelmed with ideas of how I would package it into a blog post. I am so incredibly motivated and touched by all of these comments. Waking up this morning to see some of the people I care about most commenting made me happy beyond words. Thank you for supporting me on this journey!!
Dear C,
you look great, beautiful garment too.
The world is a very large place, so much to explore and see.
I miss you, Skype soon, local holidays are coming up quickly as we get closer to winter.
What’s winter like there?
Love you!
Dad
Cara,
If the whole journalism thing goes sour, there are places in the US of A where women dance for money as well, and no one even needs to die! Miss you!
Uhm, she’s not going to die. Please let’s be positive…I don’t know how this post made me feel. But you love and care for her which is a relief! 🙂
So fascinating! Thanks for these Cara, I’ll be hitting up your inbox sometime soon.
This may be my favorite post so far! I loved reading every word of it, the way you describe Yoruba culture, food, custom and clothes is so vibrant! I love and miss you so much and am so damn proud of you!!