The haze of a harmattan season morning was just starting to clear as I approached the Yoruba Language Center. The dry red dust of the path dirtied my clean feet and sandals. I looked up at the entrance way ahead of me to see the director of my program staring at me as I made my way towards him. He was looking plump and cheery as usual, squinting his eyes even though a grey haze still hung in the air. “E kaaro!” Good morning! I shouted, slightly kneeling with one leg, greeting my boss. “Titilayo! Se daadaa ni?” Titilayo, are you well? He greeted me back. Before I had a chance to answer, he shouted, “Titi, se o mo pe o ti sanra lati igba ti o de Naijiria?” Titi, do you know you have gotten fat since you’ve been in Nigeria? I scoffed, looked down at my tummy and said “Moses, se e mo pe eebu nla ni lati so fun obinrin pe o ti sanra ni Amerika?” Moses, do you know that in America, its an insult to tell a woman she has gotten fat? Well I am definitely not in the U.S. anymore.
In Nigeria, a woman’s weight is just that, her weight, and nothing more. It is discussed like a matter of fact. It is not a delicate, sensitive subject that you would never dare bring up to a woman like it is in the States. The same thing goes for a man. In Nigeria, if your friend has gained weight, you tell him/her directly: Ah ah, Wetin you don dey chop? You don fat. Ah ah! What have you been eating, you’ve gotten fat. Then, you might pat his/her belly for emphasis. The receiver of this news should not get mad or feel bad about themselves because commenting about weight is just like commenting on your friend’s new hair-do. “Oh! You curled your hair–Oh! You gained weight,” same thing.
Nigerians respect bigger people, those who are somewhere in between thin and fat, just enough so you can tell they are eating well. With the spread of Euro-American ideals about the beauty of thinness, the Nigerian opinion on body image might be slowly losing weight. But still, young women don’t strive to be super thin. They don’t diet or deprive themselves of meals to attain a certain mark on the scale. Most young Nigerian women are naturally thin and have very slender, toned arms. The weight starts to come on after they have babies and from then they maintain a certain full-figure until they get really old. Nigerian men also, tend to develop pot bellies and rounder faces as they age. This is not to say Nigerians are overweight, not at all. Overall, they are average and follow the same pattern, unlike the U.S. where you can see an obese person and a skeletally thin person sitting in the same restaurant. Nigerians don’t deviate that much because they all eat more or less the same diet. A typical family doesn’t keep a pantry stocked with snacks fortified with partially hydrogenated vegetable oil and coated in high fructose corn syrup. Carbohydrates like yams, rice and wheat, meat and vegetables are the fundamental Nigerian diet, which does not make it easy to actually go on a diet here. You have your junk foods like the popular Cheese Balls, but kids eat them rarely. A typical snack is bananas and ground nuts or little donuts called puff puff.
So can you blame me for gaining a few lbs? My Yoruba teachers, who all said it was good I gained a little weight, said it’s mandatory that I do so when I get back my mom knows they fed me in Nigeria.
That’s some revealing piece!!!
Great entry, I’ve seen my frame of mind change living in the U.S for about 8yrs…I am definately more sensitive about my weight now than I was in Nigeria. I agree with Dad 100%, the begining of the posting is wonderful, I felt like I wanted to go get a glass of wine, sit in my recliner and get ready for a really good book.
Hi I just happened on your blog when I googled losing weight in Lagos, Nigeria. Why? I’m, tipping the scales (to quote an aunty) and people “casually” tell me I am orobo (fat).
I’ve had the opposite experience here in Lagos where people are obsessed with weight. Maybe I’m being over sensitive. That or I need to move to Ibadan. A lot of people I know are killing themselves to lose the pounds.
I left Nigeria to study, live and work in the US 15 yrs ago and since my move back last year, I’ve noticed the shift from healthy body images of my youth. Maybe it’s Lagosians. Maybe its my circle of friends and acquaintances.
I do agree that in general we are not gunning for the anorexic look seen in the Western fashion industry etc., but the Nigeria you describe has become foreign to me.
On another note all the best with your Yoruba language studies!! I hope you’re having fun with it. I’m off to read your blog archives.
Lola, in many ways, I think it’s hard to make statements about Nigeria that hold true in Lagos and the rest of the country. It’s true that it is like that in every country. You cannot make generalizations, but in Nigeria, it is especially difficult because Lagos is so different than every other city. So I am not surprised you are saying this and in fact I am interested in the difference between life in Lagos and Ibadan, for example. Good luck losing a few kg’s though. My advice is exercise and reduce the amount of food you eat. Your stomach will start to expect less food and you won’t be so hungry. Let me know how it goes!
One thing I love reading on your comments page are the comments from your family! Their comments ooze with their love and admiration for you!
Lovely piece!
Unlike so many others that attempt…you stand out. I’ve had your blog bookmarked for a while now. I am learning Yoruba too, even though I was born in Lagos. this is rich!
About the weight issue, you are more likely to be castigated for being slim than otherwise.
cheers!!
In the words of Lagbaja, … its a sign of good living 😀
Hi Cara,
I enjoy reading your blog everytime, I’am becoming a fan of yours 😉
Take care,
Gene
Cara, you’ve become an extremely good writer. The start of this entry is amazing. I really felt like I was there with you. It reads like the start of a wonderful novel.
Love you,
dad
And your mom is correct…you do have a perfect body!
Hugs,
Michele
What a healthy attitude and approach to weight. So wish you could bottle that and bring it back to the States.
Loves,
Michele
For a girl who has a PERFECT body, Moses is correct, I’m glad to hear that you’ve added a few pounds instead of losing a few pounds. The premis of your story and your observations are very interesting to read about. Love your blog. Thank you for such wonderful perceptive writing. Love you, Mom
Aww thanks mom 🙂